Mothers Rock

Gone from your barren womb, a rock hewn by human hands
the soul abandoned for voices promising all in the promised land
Collateral sacrifice, yet another dead son.
Why go to the wilderness Where your child has no home?
Is he Isaac to your Abraham?
A test for the chosen?

You retreated to comfort zones While he wept at closed gates
for his wretched integrity, your child, the apostate.
A child that now stumbles, bringing seas that will swallow you
your detachment, ice heart, ignorance and platitudes.
and your prayers will have saved no-one
Words rarely save anyone.

But this rock holds your keys, secret names and handshakes.
He is your judge, the least of these, your namesake.
Flesh of your flesh, he is the offering gelded,
its scent and your prayer, both acrid and canted,
because love divines truths that minds don't comprehend
and no spirit of charity creates the forsaken.

Better Off

Better off

Don't be so quick to berate my commitment issues
I take heart in my new found freedoms
better an Estella than a Rotting Havisham
And I had felt the rot setting in.

Solitude, now there's a suitor
Such sweet methods of wooing the same emotions
that set him as a thorn in my side.
But now I have ripped him from my core
and life is kinder, loneliness more gentle
than any double-edged caress.

So I tire of my Freudian friends,
thick skinned survivors who talk too much sense
and forget how things should be,
regardless of the reality that I don't have to accept.

I have forgiven my seven times seventy,
an accurate count from one who dealt
more than fairly with duplicity.
I have felt my way out of stagnant ground,
alone and secure I have no desire to be bound,
to one who might talk of their sensitive soul
and promise me warmth, but would leave me cold.

Being alone will not make me repent
of a life not lived through a love not spent
When hidden depths have proved shallow graves
and shackles sprung from the bonds once made.

The Black Mark

The Black Mark

Some eyes
search for darkness
some minds
search for fault,
and I,
not wishing to disappoint
have an uncontrollable urge
to oblige them.
Having no desire to reveal anything
beyond the black mark
that they believe
can never be erased.
I remain stained,
regardless of my restitution
for the indefensible crime
of learning the hard way.
Hearts are sealed
against such as I,
sanctimonious towards
those not sanctified,
and from I the unholy
they demand an eternal
Mea Culpa

The sisterhood

The Sisterhood

Self proclaimed Saviour
do you realize that you saved a girl
from making a great escape
and helped the help- meet
to be taken for a fool?
How altruistic that you take the attention,
time and gifts, that should be hers
are you so deserving of her rewards?
the stunted heart that she works to secure
while you boast avoidance of the daily grind
of compromise and self sacrifice?
Well done then,
for surely you must have something he needs,
Maybe your lack of conscience and empathy?
Still, if she never knows you
as the 'Eminence Grise'
then, well done for the couple
You've turned into a threesome

White walls

White Walls

It is a common thing
to think ill of an earthling
but I will spit your thinking.
and defy your gravity,
savoring my own mind, for the sake of my sanity.
Reasoning, I reason
with heathenish logic
that sooth- sayers lie and condemn all their challengers.
Still,
I would seek their perfection,
if I relished anti-climax.
but heavens bear earths
and humans in its vastness.
So worlds are its universe,
and I am born into this reality,
grounded by knowledge
of truths that have set me free
from cowering before shadows
that crept from the walls,
that bound with a terror
I could never find words for

Vigil

It hurt when you cut flesh this time
You were previously numb
When you were out of your mind
I am told this signifies an improvement in your mental health.

You are sutured and sent home to sleep
But the eight recommended
are not to be met with
As I dare not rest
and wake to find you dead.

Now that I know

Now that I know


Now that I know,
you're different
and I am cold.
When you talk. I dissect
So I don't unwittingly accept
a lie I can't live with
or a love that's deceptive.
You claim that I'm safe
that you won't betray me in any way
that I won't be a loser
in a game of foul play,
but words do not soothe me
not since you proved
that you love so finitely
and your solemn vows
can lack all sincerity.
So I pay with my peace of mind
while I work past your lying
whilst you've paid for nothing
but the sex you've been buying
but now that I know,
you're different.

Leaving unannounced

Leaving unannounced ( For W.Gallagher)


You left alone
I know we all do really
But there was no warning
no sign
no sense to show that the hunter
had brought you down
and now I am left
to hum in my head
removing myself
so that no condolence
pushes me over the edge
into weeping in public.
We had no time
to say our goodbyes
but you were one of the few
that I wish had stayed longer.

Identified

Identity Parade

My honesty led you to believe I am weak.  

You presumed to insult me thinking I would not speak of it.

Did I appear so simple that I would not recognize slight? 

Was I deserving of Ridicule being thus analysed?

Dreamer, non-entity, plebian and child, 

Yet despite your assumptions I am not As you find me.  

I see your pseudo and recognize its face, 

Duplicity revealed as cruelty surfaced.

Do not assume that my silence signifies your success, 

Or that child as I am I will not seek redress.

Pretty webs will not cover the seeds that you sow, 

Discovery will always await the unknown.

All the way

All The Way

I know you don’t have to
pick up the slack
or take what I throw
and not give it back.
We should meet in the middle
Somewhere that I just can’t get to
walk away now
and I fear that I’ll let you.
insecurity is paralysing,
you know the old song
I pull away
because I fear that you’ll run
Still bound to the reference
of once whole, I am less
falling in love
leaves you prey to its weakness
And so, I hold fast
to a moment so wrong
because nothing else lasts
and that lasts so long.

Hubris

Hubris

Dissolved into the masses,
why do you remain unaware
that you batter the hearts of strangers
Who do not feel your fist?
Will you rest,
Now that there is clearly no triumph in your conquests?
Now you are desperate without the heart that you sifted as chaff?

What are you if you are inhuman?
Animal, or the undead?
feeding from another’s heart
and their heart rejected.
And you; you kept nothing sacred.
So eager to take your poison,
draught upon draught of their intoxication
but where now is flesh your faithless companion?
and the family you sold for a stolen coat
With the vanity of a peacock
and such gloating!

Now you are scattered, blown by the four winds
Love was the anchor, the great law rescinded
by the fawning that now fails to warm,
aye, and the flattery that led you to harm.
Voices that lulled. Voices that led.
Always the same, leading to the same end.
Sirens so clearly intent on destruction.


In this chill, and the void you have created
Where your own life falls among those you have wasted
and the flesh of your own arm become the only anticipated
Will you learn? Will you turn back
and hold to hearts you once spurned?

Gone

Gone

I heard about you
and your empty house,
stories were told to me,
of your heart ripped out.
shocked by your faith
revealed as an enemy
who spun the dream
to blind your sight.

I know you cry
in a lonely state,
for the sleep you woke from
and the reality you woke to.
He lied and has done,
remorslessly
for how long?
and so easily has gone,
the heart you built
your life and love on.